Fear

A drumming in my head
A vice in my stomach

Drumming so loud
I cannot hear your words of comfort
I can't hear you
I cannot hear you

A vice so tight
that I think I will never eat again
no not eating

And I am consumed
with no breath that does not feed this state
and no thought that has not sprung from its loins
I will never shake it off
I can never shake it off
how will I ever shake it off

I do not feel safe
here in my head
or here in the world

I can't hear you
I cannot hear you

With cruel and terrifying images
my imagination has taken arms against me
and pound pound pounds
the precious sanity I have left

I can't hear you
I cannot hear you

So please
reach out and touch my cheek
wrap me in blankets
and tell me that when the demons come
you will fight with me
for me
with me
but do not tell me they are not coming
because I will not believe you
I do not believe you
this is reality
and in this reality
they will come


Hours go by
maybe days
maybe hours


Then it passes

As if it was never here
as if that fear was never mine
but written down and read about

I can see the drum
and the vice
but I could not tell you
how they worked
or even what they were for

There is peace in my stomach
and clarity in my head
Unlooked for
and not fought for
the fear has simply left
a passing squall
gone