Underworld

It is when I descend
to the underworld of sleep and dreams
that I find you

Often in the middle of something
always unaware that where I come from
you are dead and buried

Once I plead with you to ring your mother
another time a ten year old you
teaches me to play cards
and another you cook for me
and another there are two of you
each refusing to play by the rules of my game
and another I am with you as you die
but in this realm I can say goodbye
I can say one last I love you

Then I wake
I always wake
your presence lingers for a moment
then scatters
I cannot bring you back with me

I am Orpheus turning at the last moment
only to see you recede and diminish
I feel panic and loss

And I am left wondering
if I have violated a pact with the gods
and they have taken you
to punish me