I walk back through the rooms of our memories
to find each of you gone
it seems you have vanished here too
leaving only dust sheets and tea cups
I feel these rooms are a secret
I, the remaining survivor of an ancient order
the only one left who can chant the magic words
and bring this past to life
I fear the power of my forgetfulness
I buckle under the weight of the responsibility
if I do not know the punchline
then no-one does
if I am wrong
then I have changed history
if I do not remember
then it did not happen
You have taken with you to your deaths
the collective truth we once shared
orphaning me in a monologue
asking me to peer at what we created
as if through darkened glass
heart-breakingly beautiful words xx
ReplyDeleteIf only I could reach right inside
ReplyDeletepast your skin, and your ribcage
and all the organs, and body parts.
If I could reach in, up to my elbows
and touch your soul.
I'd give it a squeeze,
pull it in tight
and wrap myself all around it
to comfort, to protect it.
If only I could poke a straw in,
or a hosepipe,
And suck out all the dark, inky sadness,
Until it was siphoned out,
and washed down a drain somewhere.
And all you had left swirling inside
were warm pinks and reds and yellows.
Or even just a mauve, with an occasional touch of blue.
If only we could skip the sorrow in this life
and just move straight on to joy.
Can't we have the deep well
without all this painful carving?
Can't this narrow way have brighter scenery
and less shadows?
I'm holding some of your inky blue in my heart today.
Even if it can't be shared out
or siphoned off.
At least our colours will match
for a while anyway.
And maybe it will be like whale-song,
deep below the waters,
across the seas,
you'll be able to hear me.
That's beautiful. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteThis was the poem I mentioned th other day that I'd meant to post in response. It's written by Cheryl Lawrie
This is the moment that all of faith
and love has
been preparing you for
and we stand here with you
at the edge of the life you would
never choose to live
looking into its unknown darkness
and wondering how to step forward
in awe of the task
and of you.
and we take hold of your hand
and your doubts and questions and pain and fear
we promise to hold them carefully
and gently
alongside our love
and together we will hold faith
not that everything will be alright
in this next moment
but that you are going to survive
whatever it is
that will be.
Thank you. I feel quite in awe of the power and wisdom of friendship.
ReplyDeleteI read this today, the guy has MND and has asked what he'll do when his speech deteriorates because his close friend is deaf -
ReplyDelete"We will hold hands," Morrie said. "And there'll be a lot of love passing between us. Ted, we've had 35 years of friendship. You don't need speech or hearing to feel that".