The gift

For my good friend Dave who died a year ago today


Sitting beside you in that liminal time
I felt you were asking
the deep questions of life for us all
breathing them painfully into your body
and breathing out
fear and wonder and anger

how you cradled humanity in that time
living, so it seemed, on a precipice
peering into unknown darkness

And I
sat like a child by your bed
tried so hard not to make answers
of your silent wide eyed gaze

I wanted to be brave with you, for you
to walk to the edge of the cliff
hold your hand
and look down

but the hardest thing
the very hardest thing
was knowing I could not
and that when the time came
you would leave into that opaque mystery
alone

And so
as gifts are befitting of all anniversaries
today I unwrap that experience you gave me
and try to breathe in
all your breathings out